Saturday, August 1, 2015

D Day

Wow.  Today is the day I’ve been waiting for for 40 weeks.  It’s my due date!  And, I have to say it came quicker than I expected.  Don’t get me wrong, being pregnant is a long haul, but for me it went by pretty fast.  I mean, considering that I’m growing life inside of me, 40 weeks doesn’t really seem to be a long period of time.  I know a lot of pregnant women out there that would adamantly disagree with me, but I can only speak for my own experience over the last months. 

So, I’m at the point where the baby could come at any moment.  Holy shit!  I’m going to be a mom.  It’s becoming more and more real.  I’ve gone through so many stages in preparing for what’s to come.  However, for most of the time I’ve been pretty terrified of this part of my pregnancy.  All of the pain and exhaustion of childbirth had me pretty scared to get to the end result.  Regardless, I have to say that I’m truly at the point where I don’t really care what I have to do to have this baby.  I’m ready. I’m actually in awe of how full-circle my emotions about delivering this baby have come.  My hospital bag is packed!  Let’s get the show on the road. 
I’m not ready in the sense that I feel like I want to ‘get this thing out of me’.  I’m ready in the sense that I’m excited to meet my baby.  To find out if I have a daughter or son.  To see what this little one looks like.  To be sure everything is okay.  To embrace this next chapter in my own journey with my husband.  Most of all, though, I’m ready to take care of this little one and watch it start its own journey through life that I can only hope to facilitate in a positive way. 


I suppose it’s natural to get to the point of accepting what’s to come and feeling like you’re willing to do anything to have the baby.  I don’t care what I have to do now, and trust me, I’m trying everything.  As I write this blog I’m drinking red raspberry tea because my doctor said it could help move things along.  Last night Kevin and I went out to dinner and I had the spiciest Shrimp Pad Thai on the island (couldn’t eat it fast enough!).  I have pineapple on my list of items to pick up the next time I’m at the store because there is suppose to be an enzyme in them that prompts labor.  This morning I vigorously scrubbed the outside of my kitchen cabinets even though my house is perfectly clean because I read on-line that vigorously cleaning put some women into labor.  I’m walking a couple of miles regularly throughout the week.  And, of course, my doctor has a few tricks up her sleeve to provoke things.

Since I’m putting so much effort into prompting things, I am constantly thinking that I may be going into labor.  Every little Braxton Hicks contraction is a complete tease.  And, going on the intranet is absolute torture.  Every time I look up a symptom I’m having on-line, someone says they went into labor shortly after having that same symptom.  Well, not me!  Still pregnant.  I swear, I thought I was going to have this baby every single day last week.  Now, I’m convinced that this baby is never going to come.  I’m going to be the one woman on this earth that will continue to be pregnant for the rest of her life.    

So, as I sit here at home playing the waiting game, I’m still caught up in the wonder of what’s to come.  It's super exciting, not just for me and Kevin but for everyone that cares about us.  Family and friends are on stand-by, anxiously awaiting this one’s arrival and checking in regularly to see how I’m doing.  Alas, I have no news or updates for them.  I know I should simply enjoy this down time before the baby comes, and I’ll probably look back at this moment and wonder why I was so anxious for the next step. 
For now, though, I just want to hold my little baby. 
For the record, I'm NOT 40 weeks in this picture!